Nearly everyone at Erisco Foods is mad.

"Nearly all the men in Lagos are mad" is the title of a book by an author named Damilare Kuku. I haven't had the chance to read the book and that might be a mistake because the title itself is a perfect description of the state of mental health of the Nigerian population. I don't need to read the book to know the author is absolutely spot on though and one can easily substitute "Lagos" for any city, state or demographic in the country, for that matter. Nearly everyone in Nigeria is mad!

Nearly all the employees of Erisco foods are mad. From the CEO to the janitor, because you have to be mentally disturbed to see an innocent, harmless, organic first hand customer review of a product that bear your company name and logo and decide the appropriate next line of action is to arrest the young woman who made the review. Customer reviews are treasured, sort after and in many cases, paid for. One of the things I personally hate doing is leaving reviews for a company that just took my money. My review is simple, if you see me next time, then maybe you don't suck so much but at Erisco foods, "customers are always right" is a slogan reserved for those who have their brain cells intact and working.

A company worth it's salt (or sugar) will reach out to the lady, offer a sincere apology, maybe even find a dumb excuse for the bad product and send a couple of their products to appease her but that is obviously not the way of demented people. You must buy the shit, eat it and pretend it tastes like manna.

Nearly everyone directly involved in the case is mad. The insane culture of having law enforcement officers arrest citizens willy nilly has reached its boiling point and hopefully, this is the first of many spill overs. We have seen it too many times, almost everyone in Nigeria has a sad tale to tell. It's disgusting. Men of the inversely honourable police force have become willing parties to abuse of the law and processes. Sometimes you wonder how these conversations start. Did someone just walk in to a police station and say "go arrest that girl"? And these men and their tattered uniforms swing into action without question? Because what exactly in the statement below call for an arrest? 

The arrest only make sense if you're mad!

Nearly all their competitors are mad. To think Erisco have better competitors with more name recognition who haven't taken advantage of the situation to bury that mad company is beyond puzzling. Nigerian companies only know one way of marketing - hire washed reality TV show competitors and display their surgically enhanced bum on TV! MADNESS.

A simple graphic design with the words "we arrest taste buds, not customers" will go viral on social media. Remember that incident where an airline passenger was dragged across the aisle in the US? Competitors came out with ads that read "we beat the competition, not you" but I guess that only works in a country where the majority of it's population are not mad.

Nearly all the professional march organisers are mad! Seeing how good Nigerians are at organizing protests and peace walks and "all eyes on the judiciary", you'd think this absurd situation will be getting a lot more attention but clearly, nearly everyone in Nigeria is mad!