Surviving Jehoram: 3D(s) you need to live through Tinubu.

The people who nicknamed Buhari "Ahab" thought they were onto something. Like the regular Nigerian reaction to everything, they conjured jokes to describe a gory situation. "Ahab", the wicked king, as recorded in the Bible, was a perfect illustration of what the Buhari regime represented. A repressive and backward administration void of the fear God or a decent appreciation of the dignity of human life. A despot who surrounded himself with advisers who are just as cruel and had no good intentions for the people they were elected to serve. 

While the Ahab comparison may have been true and the "X" (formerly called Twitter) takes hilarious, there's a less popular, more painful truth the people missed - Ahab was succeeded by His son Jehoram, who, although was slightly less evil than His predecessor was also a catastrophic disaster for the people. This piece is not necessarily seeking to give Bible lessons or draw long parallels, rather, it's purpose is to help the average citizen cope with the Aso Rock Jehoram.

Surviving Jehoram, Aso Rock edition, however, should not be so hard, the secret sauce require just 3 ingredients; delusion, diversion and divination. 3D, just so you don't forget because, my friend, you will need it!

Delusion is defined by the Oxford dictionary as a false belief or judgment about external reality, held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary, occurring especially in mental conditions and to survive Jehoram, you will need an overdose of it. Like a typical Nigerian in the kitchen, adding salt to their pot, just keep pouring till your ancestors whisper "it's enough" and then pour some more. You will have to do whatever it takes to assume fuel is less than 200 Naira per litre, cost of living is not increasing exponentially and more importantly, Jehoram knows what He's doing. On that final part though, there is plenty of help. Going by the number of media aides this regime has appointed and will still appoint, the gaslighting will be worse than a Yorúbá demon wearing a white native at a wedding reception.

The famous George Orwell quote "the Party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command." is going to come alive like you've never seen.

The advise is simple, do whatever you can, however insane it feels to inoculate your mind. Remember, depression is not a Nigerian disease. Don't be suicidal because of ordinary bad leadership.

Now, diversion. Big Brother Nigeria, European football league, Messi vs. Ronaldo debate, FC vs. 30BG and the likes are not entertainment or something you do to pass time, No. They were created for you to invest energy, time and resources to because what else would you rather focus on? War in Niger? Come on now. The US presidential election is next year and the madness has started already. Get familiar with names like Vivek Ramaswamy, Robert Kennedy Jr., Mariam Williamson, etc. They are keys to surviving Jehoram, my guy. You lived through Ahab unscathed, maybe a little scathed but, do you remember when Messi moved to the Uber Eats league and couldn't score a goal to save his dead career? Good times!

Finally, Divination!

You really want to survive Jehoram without God? Ok bro.

Better go join the ushering unit in church so you can at least, have a community of people with which to vent and just so you know, it took the intervention of a prophet to get rid of Jehoram!

It's not all doom and gloom, obviously. Nigerians have been surviving incredibly bad leadership since Lord Lugard and if there's one thing you can count on, they forgive easily and move on very quickly.

Jehu came after Jehoram by the intervention of one of the greatest prophets of His time and that stopped the rule of the house of Ahab and Jezebel. Maybe the Pastor whose house was not built on sand was right after all, David is coming after Saul.

Before then, hold your D(s).

See ya!