My Life Is A Privilege.

I spend the vast majority of my time alone so I have a lot of thoughts. Many times, I wonder if people unborn have access to those of us down here and what their thoughts are. I imagine an unborn looking down at a person on earth and wondering how much of a "screw up" they are. I think of them musing to themselves how well their lives would be if they had our talents, opportunities and privileges. How successful they will be if presented with a similar chance to try out as human beings. Sometimes, I wonder if they go up to God and beg for a chance to be born; "just give me half of the privilege this guy have and see how much impact I'd make" I imagine they say to the Almighty.

Sometimes, I wonder if that's how some of us got here. I wonder if that's how I got here. 

Life is a privilege, every waking hour is a privileged borrowed time but like every privilege, it's value and appreciation diminish with time and access. That's why some men never truly appreciate life and the privilege of being on earth till they almost lose it. Only scarce commodities are appreciated and that's why waking up everyday; strong, fit and agile does not count for much anymore to many. They are constantly thinking about the other stuff they think they deserve; privileges they will soon abuse once they get used to them.

My birthday was a few days ago and once again, I am reminded just how privileged I am. I have made a lot of mistakes. I have done countless things that ended many but here I am, with dreams, goals and aspirations like I am the most upright man in the world. I wonder if there are unborns looking down and wondering why I get another day and they don't. I wonder if there are those who are begging God to give them half the chances I've received and making their case for how much better they would turn out.

I am grateful for the people who call me "friend", I don't think I deserve a lot of it. I am great at small talk, not so much keeping and tending to friendship. My cycle is so small, I doubt it qualifies to be called a cycle at this point, yet, everyday, there are people who show up for me and outdo themselves. I was genuinely shocked at the kind of messages I've received over the past few days. Someone called me "an inspiration", "what exactly do I inspire?" I thought to myself.

I am an example of God's mercy. I have a theory; God put Angels over me and instructed them to make sure I keep getting another chance till I get it right. I have made mistakes many people never recovered from and yet here I am.

I have burnt bridges of friendship and yet, many still hold me dear, it's almost as if they're trying to prove to me nothing can make them stop loving me. My entire life is a privilege.

I am extremely grateful to still be here.

I am extremely grateful to those who inspire me and those who never give up on me.

I am grateful for another day and the start of another year to enjoy this amazing privilege.

I am grateful to God.